less than two years, less than two months

It’s been less than two years since you’ve been gone, 642 days.

It’s less than two months til my wedding, 54 days.

I finally got the proposal ring you left for me and Leon resized, it only took me 483 days. It’s beautiful of course, you’d be amazed how shiny.

I so badly wish you were here for all this, I have so much to tell you, so much I wish I could hear your opinion on. Not just wedding things, everything. I feel like my whole life is changing, and without you it’s just… I don’t know.

Sometimes I feel like you are slipping away and I can barely remember you, I am so afraid of forgetting you, of forgetting any part of you. Then sometimes I feel like I know everything about you, like the memories are too vivid.

I’ve stopped hating seeing your things in our house, all the things you never got around to taking when you had to move out, when I couldn’t do it all, and you wouldn’t let me. I wish I had been able to do more.

I’m sure you left a lot of it on purpose, both out of being sick of moving, and being sick and I like to imagine you knew they would comfort me one day.

I miss you baby.

xxxxxxxxxxxx always


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